500 Days of WINTER?! (Part 2)

It has been a few months since I posted the most "controversial" entry that I've had on this blog. Since that time, I have had many people give feedback on the idea of love, including a sermon that I received from my roommate that also highlights some of the points I made in my original blog post. I've learned much from all the different perspectives that I've heard, and I am thankful to every single person that has contributed to my learning. Additionally, I've been fortunate enough to learn firsthand about this idea of love and how it applies to a Christian such as myself.

Before I move in to my post, a couple of disclaimers:

1. All of my ideas stem strictly from sources who I respect and admire deeply such as John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and others. I trust their words because their words are based off the only authoritative truth in the world, the Bible.

2. I am still open to hear the thoughts and perspectives of others. Please note, however, that I expect an equal level of listening and learning to take place from each other (not that anyone has been angry or frustrated at/with me just yet... but as I am openly placing my ideas on the internet, it is easy to criticize without having a single regard for how I would respond.)

3. I'm still learning. And I am nowhere near perfect.

Alright, onto what I've learned.

The questions I posted in my first post were legitimate questions that I was asking myself. In many ways, as I thought of those questions, I developed my own answers. But these answers were not backed up with my own experience with love. Now that I've become more and more aware of these things, I will clearly state this.

It is impossible for someone to love based solely off of their own feelings.

If the greatest love is what Christ says it to be (John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friend), it is completely impossible for me to have an unselfish view of love without first realizing who Christ is and why He performed the greatest act of love for all who would believe.

I consider myself highly fortunate and blessed to have heard of this act. Of how God cared so much for his own glory that he would send his son to die on our behalf so that his glory would not be violated (he had spoken countlessly of how he would redeem mankind back to him... if he hadn't fulfilled such promises, he would cease to be God).

If that truth, the gospel truth of how Christ would die for me so that I would be reconciled back to God does not only infiltrate, but completely revolutionize what I consider love to be, I have not understood it at all.

Maybe it is possible to lay down a life for a friend. But God laid down his life for his bitter enemies, namely, us.

This same love is given to us to live out. And I know that it cannot be done unless I continue to know and follow hard after God. To have one pure and holy passion.

Granted, I will never fully comprehend the love of God. But I will fight for it. To love because I have been loved first.

Otherwise, I would love for my own selfish gain.

I broke up the last few paragraphs because I think they are each their own point. Sorry for the long post. I'll try and keep my thoughts more condensed by writing more often.

former identity.

Luke 15. Everyone knows this parable. Commonly referred to as the parable of the prodigal son. However, recent readings of this parable along with the works of Tim Keller and John MacArthur have made me realize that the story is a parable of two sons. One, a blatantly obvious sinner. The other, a subtly subversive sinner.

v. 25-32:

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might e celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, f who has devouredg your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’31 And he said to him, ‘Son, h you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting e to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother i was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

This was me. I used to be like this. I used to hold God hostage with my "obedience" and legalistic mindset, thinking that I deserved so much for doing such things. And when I would see God's blessings of love and grace and mercy being poured out upon those "other" sinners, I would be so jealous, so spiteful, so... ugh.

The irony is, I was in a much worse position than the other. And, eventually, this mindset drove me to rebellion. To hate and not want to obey. But in that position, I found a loving father, a grand feast, and a joy beyond no other. How does that happen?

Only by the grace of God, who rebukes, disciplines, and save those He loves.

χάρις.

That's different huh? The title, I mean. In Greek, it is pronounced Charis. In English, it is grace. I kind of want to get it tattooed. Or maybe Kyrios and Doulos, one on each arm. That would be pretty cool too.

Anyway, the purpose of the title... (if you're a frequent reader, this title may not be as specific as you are used to)

I just recently read The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges. It's a fantastic read as it looks to the Gospel as a justifying, sanctifying, and glorifying process that is at work in us constantly. Fortunately, I have begun to understand this Gospel in a much deeper light, especially over this summer, and really in the past few days.

Actually... instead of writing all this out and vomiting my unorganized thoughts onto the world wide web... I'll leave you with this.

χάρις makes me a δοῦλος to the one true κύριος.

RIP Paul "Furnie" Kim

the realization of truth.

Here's what I'm realizing.

Generally, our struggles begin with this statement: There can be no one, no thing, no idea better than you.

But, here's the truth: There's no one, no thing, no idea that is better than you.

Spot the difference?

I struggle with this too. Jesus, help me see you as a reality, not a possibility.

A Paradoxically Good Day.

I woke up miserably this morning. Which isn't exactly a rare occurrence. Let me explain:

After spending this weekend at retreat, learning and being convicted by the holiness of God and seeing how much He desires for me to be holy through Christ as well, I was thoroughly convicted of so much sin that I had left creeping around in the dark corners of my mind and heart.

Now, I think I've gotten to a point where I understand that there can be no real change in living free of sin aside from a continual preaching of the Gospel to myself and a continual hope only in Christ.

But, usually, on days like today, my sin is more than I can bear because the first thought on my mind is my prideful sin (notice the emphasis on the I).

Want to know what made today different?

I began to understand what God's desire actually means in application. I am free of such sin by the grace of God shown in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I am holy because He has made me such. But not completely yet.

What does that mean? I can live freely, bound only to God and His love and grace. I can hope, only in the revelation of Jesus Christ.

And today, I was able to experience this firsthand. Man, did it make a difference in my day.

It was a really good day.

500 Days of WINTER?! (SPOILER ALERT!!)

HAHA! not my usual title, I know. Although I do think that Winter would make a pretty girl name.

Anyway, I was randomly thinking about this movie today (ironically as, but not because, the Union Station tram was passing by downtown LA, close to the "bench"). I thought about that line. This is not verbatim but the line that goes something like this: "One day I woke up and knew he was the one. I never felt that with you." And I thought about this for a while. And then I had this really, really obvious question (that I should have had immediately after I watched the movie):

Do people really feel that way about love? Meaning, is it just something that's there? (Question applies to both guys and girls... and if you can, please answer the question in the comments below...)

Because asking that question begets this question..

What happens when that feeling disappears?

By definition, feel-ing is temporary, whether it is a physical sensation or an experience of emotion (I know a long term injury or a traumatic experience makes this definition seem a bit understated, as well as the fact that I don't know how the marriage between Summer and her husband turns out. But, for the sake of argument, I am going to play devil's advocate). Which means, does that feeling that Summer had about her new husband appear in a way similar to Tom's feelings about Summer, in the ways that Tom developed his feelings (granted, they were somewhat superficial and 18 year oldish), or was it just that "I just knew he was the one?"

Because, based off the definition of feeling, it will end. That feeling. That "it" factor. That "I just know."

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have any chemistry between you and your significant other. Or that you should not be looking for any sort of feeling within you.

But what I am essentially asking is, should that feeling be the foundation of a relationship?

Because if it is, I'm never going to be in one. My feelings come and go.

Commitment, on the other hand, is not. Whether legal, or moral, or Christ-centered, there is a standard that must be met. And, personally, I would like to have the one that will last forever (hint: it's not the first two). For that to be a reality... love needs to be more than a feeling. It needs to be a commitment.

legalism.

i am quickly becoming more and more aware of my legalistic tendencies. man, this scares the hell out of me.

oh Lord, save me from myself.

Music is...

I think all music — not Christian music but all music — is worship music because every song is amplifying the value of something....

There's a trail of our time, our affection, our allegiance, our devotion, our money. That trail leads to a throne and whatever's on that throne is what we worship. And we're all doing a great job of it because God has created us to be worshippers. The problem is that a lot of us have really bad gods.

- Louie Giglio, Founder of Passion

Found in "When Music is Our Enemy" by David Orland found at boundless.org

A helpful resource.

I found this surfing through the blog world today. It's a website committed to discussing Christian dating, courting, and marriage. I figured that it's something that, at least, is on our generations' minds.

Remember though, marriage is not the end all, be all. It is not a means, nor an end. Rather, it is a gift of God so that we can testify of his grace and love in the intimate relationship we have with another spouse.

Enjoy! =)

Ironic.

When the King of Pop died, over 750,000 fans and friends attended the memorial.

When the King of News died, hundreds of colleagues, family, and friends attended the memorial.

When the King of Kings died (Rev 19:16, Phil. 2:9-11), only a handful of disciples and 2 women attended to His burial (John 19:38-42, John 15:46-47).

Whom do we worship?

stsm 2k9.

they were like my younger brothers and sisters. i miss them already.

i trust You God. only You.

MEANINGFUL.

I realized this, by the way.

Every single one of Jesus' words were incredibly meaningful. And every single one of God's words have incredible meaning.

Meaning, the Bible, being the inerrant, fulfilled, promises of God, is continually a place to find God's meaning for me.

How often have I read the Bible and thought, this does not mean much. Wow. I am such a being with a small understanding of meaning.

But God is good.

God is good. ALL THE TIME.

And we all know the response. All the time... GOD IS GOOD!

then why in the hell do I keep thinking that God's goodness is what I consider to be good?

Sorry about the exclamatory question (only emphasized by the "hell" in that question). But I've been asking myself this question a ton this summer. My definition of good had been this: Do something productive this summer. Meaning you have to be a part of some program or some initiative or someTHING.

Instead, God decided to keep me from going on missions, from getting an internship, from finding a job. And yea, I am staying in school for one more semester. So at least that helps.

But my definition of God being good was giving me an opportunity to do something productive this summer.

How I've been rebuked and blind in seeing what God has done.

I've realized that the Gospel is never, ever fully known. Because every day, every moment, there needs to be a serious consideration of the cross in my continual sinful flesh. And in these moments, God shows me that there is a continual need to continually focus on the fundamentals of faith.

And doing something productive, in knowing God's goodness, is exactly that. Rely on Him and Him alone for all the good things. Because truly, all the time, God is good.

culturally counterproductive to the Gospel.

I had an interesting conversation today with my roommate.  It came up, innocently, as a question to him regarding the stereotyping that koreans receive (he's chinese).  The conversation went somewhere along the lines of this:

Me: So are Koreans really notorious for not treating their girlfriends/wives well?

RM: Yea.  I have a Korean friend who is a girl whose dad basically said he would be ok with her dating a Korean guy or a Chinese guy.

Me: Really?

RM: Yea.  The Korean guy, well obviously because he's Korean.  But the Chinese one, well he basically said Chinese guys treat their women better.

Me: Lol.

And it got me asking him about the difference in cultures between Chinese and Koreans, especially in the Christian context.

By the way, I don't mean this post to target only Koreans or Chinese.  This can happen at any church, anywhere, within any culture.

So, we ended up talking about how the Gospel can be contorted and twisted within cultures and how the true message of Jesus Christ is no longer what is being communicated.

Where do I see this happening?  I think, as a Korean American, and a long time Korean church attendee, that in many ways, the Gospel becomes a way for us to fuel our long time Korean culture identity in a way that is "morally" right, not Gospel-like right.

And ultimately, this leads to the idolatry of certain "moralities" or "values" rather than making Jesus Christ the center and focus of a church.  Not to say that every single person who is in the Korean church is one, but the Pharisees were just as content on making God's law somewhat more important than God Himself because they viewed God as a distant, transcendent being who did not meddle in the petty affairs of human beings every day, even though His prophets would proclaim God who cared deeply about us and wanted to know us intimately.

Jesus came and shattered it all, making his dwelling among us so that we might know the true righteousness of God.  But the temptation still remains.  The temptation to feel that we may be more superior than others because we are more "spiritual" or "moral" or "*insert any other value here*" rather than seeing the worth of every man, woman, and child through the love shown on the cross.  And because of this, the Gospel becomes counterproductive to what its very intent was.

Sadly, I am very guilty of this myself.  Who am I to consider my worth higher than another human's based off of my own works and thoughts when God sent His Son to save all those who would believe?  How many people have I kept from belief because of my lack of grace and love?  Man, that is incredibly sobering.

it's hard.

remembering the cross in every situation and aspect of life.

I know Your ways are higher.

remind me what it means to submit to You, oh Lord.

and keep me in Your hands.

no confidence in the flesh.

For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Jesus Christ and put no confidence in the flesh -

Philippians 3:3

What a great reminder.  The contrast of Jesus Christ and my flesh.  Everything that is in God, within Christ can give us full confidence.  Why?  Because God will be given all the glory and if God is given the glory, things will work out for good for those who love Him.

Everything outside of Christ is to have no confidence put into it.  What a simple reminder that can be expressed in so many different ways.

I want to put no confidence in the flesh.  But it still drags me down, making me do what I don't want to do.  Must keep fighting.

pain and its ever dwelling nature.

I have approximately 15 scars on my body.  I can probably tell you the story behind each one.  Tripping on a flight of escalators (knee).  Broken glass from a car accident (hand).  Running blindfolded into a window sill (head).  These are but a few.  And they're not even that comparable to others I have seen (ACL tears, gunshot wounds)

The visual reminder that these scars give are, when examined, interesting.  I can't believe that all of these events actually occurred.  But every time I see my scars, I am thoroughly and vividly reminded of the insufficiency of my body to ever be healed to its original state.

What's worse, at times, is the ever gnawing deep, emotional pain.  Broken relationships, divorces, death all leave tremendous wounds on our souls, on the very being of who we are.  And these scars are not visible, but abundantly more painful to us, especially when we are reminded of these situations.  These emotional wounds may have begot physical ones, or vice versa, but nevertheless, some of these run deep, especially when these wounds are combined into one.

Tonight, I was reminded about some of these.  Some of these pains that have shaped me into who I am today.  Other pains that were brought on by the ones I thought of.  But I cannot even compare.  

Look at Him, and you'll see pain. Look to the One whose hands and feet only minimally showed the infinite wrath that was poured out upon Him.  Look to the One who had not a single reason to be murdered.  Look to the One who endured scorn and shame from men and demons.  Look to the One, and you'll see pain.

But.  In the midst of pain, our pains and His, is the renewable, abundant, triumphant, eternal love of the Father, Son, and Spirit.

Look to the Three in One, and you'll see love.  Look to the One who would send His Son to die for His people.  Look to the One who could overcome such pain because of an eternal and holy love for His people.  Look to the One who came to aid us in our times of needs and pain.  Look to them, and you'll see love.  

Luke 24:39-40

39 See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 40 And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet.

John 3:14-17

14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15 that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. 16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 

birthday present!

I recently got my birthday present to myself.

Six books:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation, Andreas Kostenberger and David W. Jones

What is a Healthy Church Member, Thabiti M. Anyabwile

Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate, Jerry Bridges

Vintage Church, Mark Driscoll

Finally Alive, John Piper

Living the Cross Centered Life, C.J. Mahaney

YAY!  Hopefully, I can get all this read over the summer.

Lack of persistence is the only limit to knowing someone.

- Anonymous

can't sleep.

i saw someone lose a life today. it's haunting me to the point of insomnia.

like a horse with blinders on.

I have been like one.

The tremendous amount of stress that I've been feeling recently (a stress I find deep in my stomach, rather than on my mind) has made me so oblivious to the tremendous amount of blessings God has given me, even when I am so undeserving of such. It didn't take until a great conversation with a sister today, a blog post, and 1 Tim 2:1, that I realized how much I've taken God's grace and mercies for granted.

Thank you brothers and sister for helping me be reminded.

twitter.

i'm reconsidering twitter.

http://theologica.blogspot.com/2009/04/twitter-telegraph-of-narcissus.html

Cultural Context.

Say the word "contextualize" in a Southern Baptist Bible-belt church and you'll get a reaction equivalent to that of saying a cuss word.

- Matt Chandler, Pastor of The Village Church, Dallas, Texas

Gospel contextualization is attempting to overcome the natural cultural barriers that bar the Gospel from having their fullest effect on the receiving audience. And it's something, that as a 2nd generation Korean-American, I feel very compelled to say my very itty-bitty two cents about.

After hearing the great message at KCM Chapel tonight and, especially hearing the story about how the Gospel ended up in Korea, I am more aware than ever now of the need to realize that the Gospel, when relating to Korean American, has so many cultural barriers to overcome.

I'm not really going to go into specifics about this because it's such a broad topic to talk about. But I do know this one thing. Jesus didn't come to the Earth to save only Korean Americans. This is an obvious statement, but it's one that, in my opinion, leads us understand that there is much to learn from other "ethnic" groups of Christians. Granted, many of us have been raised only in the Korean sphere of influence and thus, because that sphere in SoCal is humongous, are probably instilled with a sense of not really needing to understand others. And I'm not condemning that as a "false" understanding of the Gospel. Rather, I would ask you, brothers and sisters, to consider that, in many ways, the Gospel calls us to behave and act in a way "not of this world." (John 17:16) This applies to all areas of our lives, including the culture that we live in.

I'll try and share more of my thoughts about this later.

bleh.

april fool's

to be honest, i kind of don't like april fool's.

but i'm just one guy. and there really is a plethora of entertainment that comes from this day.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Breaking-news-Mark-Cuban-buys-Lakers;_ylt=Anfjzh6SCfp8nqbwqPbR20K8vLYF?urn=nba,152044

anyway, i hope i don't say something i'll regret and try to cover it up with an "april fool's!"

like blockles? or tetris?

hardest tetris ever.

http://sovietrussia.org/f/src/tetoris.swf

Jesus' names

I remember how this poster was on the wall at my old church. It is such an amazing poster. Jesus Christ has more ways to reference Him than any other person in history. All from one book, written by Him. Think about it:

"Hey Chief Cornerstone!"

"What's up Mike?!"

A name is an individual and unique way to identify a person. Yet each and every one of these names is directly attributable to Jesus' infinitely holy character. And any/all of these names are ways to call Him. And to describe Him. WOW!

And what's even more amazing. No matter what name given to Christ, He would be just as worthy to be the Savior of the world.

Or as Shakespeare put it:

' Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

Only one.

Only one life,

'Twill soon be past

Only what's done

for Christ will last.

Kudos if you can name the book this is from... hahaha. Maybe I'll buy you a meal too. =)

Jesus had a sense of humor.

he really did. check this out.

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/religionsaves/humor

=D

The Demise of Meaning.

Quote from Stephon Marbury regarding his return to playing in the NBA as a Boston Celtic:

"It went the way I was praying for it to go."

This is only one example of how the truth of words has been pushed aside by postmodern thinking. In my opinion, words no longer carry the weight of meaning that God meant them to be. Let me argue this point first and foremost from the Bible.

From the beginning, when God created the world, all of what God set forth was by words. He brought light ex nihilo (out of nothing) by pure words. "Let there be light." The proclamation of his law was by words in written form. God warned the Israelites by the words of his prophets. Jesus spoke words of life to both Jew and Gentile alike. Paul encouraged the churches by the written word.

And every single word carried the weight of God's divine inspiration through the Holy Spirit for Scripture.

As the example listed above illustrates, empty words threaten the very way that God has communicated His love for us. (note: i'm not trying to blast on Marbury for he may have very done exactly what he said) It is quite possible that the word "prayed" means "hoped for, or wished for," not "an offering up to God of our requests and petitions." Other examples of this are the words love, faith, grace, joy, truth, holiness, and many more. Each of these words are all given an incredible amount of meaning by God. Unfortunately, postmodern thought has pushed out the true meaning of these words and replaced the meaning with our own finite meaning of these words, therefore making meaning just as relative to the speaker as the listener. Even a worldly standard of truth in meaning, dictionaries, are left sitting on bookshelves collecting dust.

What's the point? Words and their meanings incredibly important. These words and meanings must be derived from the ultimate source of authority and truth, God through His written word. Seriously.

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things, the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience." - Ephesians 5:6.

a good reminder from john piper.

This is an original John Piper blog post and can be found here.

Thank God for John Piper.  seriously.

It is important that we know the nature of the evil in our hearts.

Do you think the essence of your evil is disobeying commandments? That’s a good start. But it’s not the essence of our evil. Commands simply name the evil and its fruits, and tell us not to do them.

The essence of our evil is that we prefer anything to God (Romans 1:23; 2:23). Commands do not create the possibility of evil. Commands name it.

Long before we are told not to covet, we covet. Disobeying the command, “Thou shalt not covet,” is not equivalent to the evil of coveting. The evil of coveting is there first, and then is compounded by the transgression of the commandment not to covet.

Paul said, “I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, ‘You shall not covet’” (Romans 7:7). That is, I wouldn’t have known the seriousness of my evil if God had not named it in the law.

But lawbreaking is not the essence of my evil. Desiring anything above God is the essence of my evil, before any commands name it.

One reason this is important to know is that it will affect the way you pursue change. If you think the essence of your evil is commandment-breaking, your focus for change will  be commandment-keeping.

That is doomed to fail for two reasons. If we get good at it, we think we have changed, but the essence of our evil remains. If we can’t get good at it, we despair and quit trying.

But if we know that the essence of our evil is not commandment-breaking, but preferring anything to God, then our focus for change will be a change of heart. That is hopeful, because God promised, “I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 11:19).

This is the new covenant that Jesus purchased with his blood (Luke 22:20). We receive it by faith.

baptism.

i still haven't been baptized yet.  i really want to.  man...

a compliment as an insult?

note: the following situation did not actually happen, it's just an example.

this is something that i've been thinking about lately. you know when someone compliments someone at the expense of another? like let's say, i'm playing basketball with some church friends. and, one who shall not be named (frank la), tears me up at it, because:
a) he's much quicker than me.
b) he actually knows how the game of basketball is played.
c) he has mad skills.

now. after the game, i hear another church person, let's say steve kwon, compliments frank saying, "man frank, you tore it up that game." now obviously, this comment is not directed toward anyone except frank la. but, in a sense, it does come at the expense of another person, i.e. me and my team. we lost the game, honorably, but still lost. and it was because of frank's mad skill and my lack of skill that factored into the loss.

now, let's consider something else that i hear in churches more often. like, "man, pastor ********** is such a good speaker." and knowing that other pastors hears these things, i wonder how that makes the other pastors think about their own ministry. does it make them feel less adequate in preaching? does it make them reconsider their vocation? does it, God forbid, actually make them want to quit what they do? (note: i'm pretty sure most pastors have faced enough criticism to have some sort of immunity to this, but this is just another example of what i'm talking about) (this may also be questioned as some to be "insecurity." i'd like to say that it's more of a reaction to opinion)

the reason why i ask this is because there's a lot of glory given to those that are good. and as long as that glory is attributed to God's glory, it is no way bad. however, God also does call us to encourage and to recognize that people are given various gifts under God's grace (see Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, 1 Peter 4:10-11). does that make me choose my words more carefully? mmm, possibly. something i'll have to think about even more so.

happy president's day weekend! hope you had a good, rest-filled weekend.

happy valentine's day! from john piper.

John Piper's poem for his wife.  He's pretty dang creative.  ahahahah.  Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

My love, come listen as I seek
With seven tongues, and hope, on your
Sweet soul to let our Sovereign speak:
Je suis avec vous tous les jours.

He bids us come and learn to rest
Beneath his feather burden. Come feel,
He says, how light, how sweet, how blessed,
Porque me yugo es facil.

And if we fear what yet will be,
He tells us what we yet will see:
’al tiyra’ kiy ‘imkah aniy
temaktiykah biymiyn tsadkiy.

If darkness lingers on, and thus
Delays the precious light of dawn,
Fear not, because we know for us
God works panta eis agathon.

And if barbarians invade
The soul, and take our borderlands,
Together we say undismayed:
E tenebris lux Christi stands.

Gott hat durch Leiden uns gelerht, 
   Dass wir kein Schmerz vergeuden;
Ob Abend lang das Weinen währt,
   Doch kommt des Morgens Freude.

i try too hard.

wheat thins.

wheat thins are not perfect squares.

rebuke me john piper. and pastor arnold.

"Christ is to be cherished.  Not just chosen."

-  John Piper, When I Don't Desire God

I have fallen gravely into a trap.  to become full of duty and false humility.  and i'm so glad that pastor arnold's sermon today and john piper's book is continually showing me how superficial my faith can be at times.

today, arnold reminded me of my false sense of humility.  let's just say our praise band was asked to do something very out of the ordinary, by opening for a well known Christian band.  my first reaction was, "wtfreak?  we're not good enough to open for so-and-so."  but today, as arnold preached against the "what would Jesus do" mentality, focusing instead on "walking with Jesus daily," he reminded me that i should always be having that sense of "i'm not good enough, but Jesus makes me worthy" every sunday i come to play drums and sing praises to my King. 

dang.  how much do i focus on my "doing" of good works instead of being to live in enjoyment of God's justifying and sanctifying work in me through the good times and bad?

praise God for an awesome sunday.  =)

the OT.

i admit.  when i first became a christian, i used to hate the Old Testament.  long genealogies, repetitive kings, overly extravagant psalms, and confusing prophecies.

now, i begin to see that it is alive with truth, love, and justice.

providentially, i had my bible this morning open to deuteronomy (i spelled that incorrectly when i first typed it, hahaha) after listening to mark driscoll speak from it last night.  originally, i was planning to move away from deuteronomy and read psalms or one of the epistles or something.

but, deuteronomy kept calling to me.

now i know why.

deuteronomy 6:20-25

i admit, one of the hardest struggles for me as a young christian is understanding the concept of obedience because i love God.  i understand grace, unmerited favor.  i understand works and how they are not to be used to try and earn God's favor.   If God loves me, then no matter what i do i can run back to him, right? but obedience, because i love God?  eh.

it could be that the relationship i had with my dad has made it difficult for me to understand this.  i can't really recollect any times, except in recent memories, that he commanded me to do something.

but as i read this passage, and reread it again, i think i get it.  kinda.  the israelites were led out of egypt by the sovereign grace and love of God displayed through his miracles.  he used a man, Moses, to show this.  After all this, God commanded (v.24) the Israelites to keep the decrees and to fear God so that they would prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today.  Obedience to this law, passed down through Moses, would bring about righteousness.  and macathur, in his bible, says to look at verse 5 which is the basis for all of this.  "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

This passage tells me 2 things.

1.  God's commands are for our benefit.  To keep his commands is to tell sin (Bob, hahahah) and death, "go sc*** yourselves" and enjoy the prosperity that comes from being in God's perfect love and holiness.

2.  I can't do this alone.  Just as the Israelites had to look back on the miracles God performed in Egypt (and they were just signs of God, not God himself), I must look back on the cross, place every part of my sinful nature (Bob) there, and ask that God would form a heart of obedience before his cross.

have a good day!

PS - the reference to Bob is a reference to Pastor Arnold's sermon this past sunday in which he personified the sinful nature in Romans 6 & 7 to better illustrate that we are not of sin.  =P

the universe.

paul m kim likes to call me a sentimental freak... hahahah.  but i have to admit, i kind of am.  well, not really sentimental.  just always inspired by God.

here's one example.

this weekend, we had retreat up in running springs (on the way to big bear).  the cabin that we were staying at had an outdoor patio/deck and so at night, you could look out over the city below us and the stars above.  at first, i was talking about the constellations and all that fun astronomy stuff with some of my church friends.  then one of my sisters reminded me the number of stars and galaxies there are in the universe.  i began to stare out.  as i stared at the stars and the universe, i could feel a sense of awe and dread coming over me.

why?

i felt freaking insignificant.  how in the world could i possibly mean anything in this universe?  you can't put a number on the stars or the galaxies or anything.  and yet... it was all created by God.  God fills the entire universe because He created it.  God is outside the universe because He exists with/without creation.

amazing.

you know what's even better?  He loves me.  He loves you.  He really does.  The universe is just a small display of how much He loves.

Psalm 8:3-4

3 When I consider your heavens, 
       the work of your fingers, 
       the moon and the stars, 
       which you have set in place,

 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, 

       the son of man that you care for him?

all the way my savior leads me.

i think this is quickly becoming one of my favorite hymns...

vs.1
All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.
vs.2
All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.
vs.3
All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way.

reflecting on journal entries.

it's my last night in korea.  my dad's sleeping while i'm waiting for my laundry to dry so i can pack (korean dryers are freaking slow...).  so i pulled out my journal and i started looking back through all the entries i've written starting in ghana.  i should do this way more often since it shows me two things.  

1.  my writing skills have not changed much since i've entered college (writ 140 B-, writ 340 B+)  

2.  i tend to leave many things unanswered in what i write because i assume that i'll understand them when i look back to read.

both need to change.  which means i need to practice more in writing.  ahaha.

anyway, i want to share an entry because i think that as i reflected on this entry it was a good reminder for me.

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7-30-08, 7:26 AM

Morning QT - Daniel 7-9

Daniel 9:19 - We do not make requests of you because we are righteous but because of your great mercy.

Finding joy in God requires that we see the immense amount of mercy that has been shown to us.  God has been merciful not only in the death of Christ as the atonement for my sin, but also in this life that I continually live, at times in rebellion to him.

I want to taste the sweetness of joy that I have because of God's mercy.  Knowing this, I can not take any moment for granted.  I must realize the extent of joy that I have in Christ Jesus's death and what it means to my life now.

To live within God's mercy means to bring prayer to God knowing that is not me who can make any sort of impact on God's decision to be merciful.  Instead, I must live within that mercy but know that God does good for whom he loves, and in that I can have joy.

God, please be merciful to me.

Thinking about these past couple of days and considering where I've placed most of my thinking has led me to see that my humility is so feeble in comparison to Christ.  How could be so foolish into thinking that I could be as humble as Christ?  It is not by my power or spirit that I am able to be humble.

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i write about humility a lot because it's often on my mind.  but i do not practice it nearly as much as i think about it.  

this is kind of ironic.  i've been watching a lot of impressionist comedians recently.  the difference between a good and great impressionist (frank caliendo is great.  youtube him) is how much their verbal and non verbal communication are identical to the person they are imitating.  those that are good can usually get the verbal part right but their non verbals (body posture, facial expressions) aren't as good.  those that are great do everything well because they essentially become that person, even in their state of mind.

philippians 2:5 says that my attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus.  attitude is what actually makes an action humble.  it's not just giving the "right response."  it's honestly believing that i truly don't deserve anything i have, but because of God's great mercy, i can have life and so much more.  knowing that, i can make philippians 2:2-3 (do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves) an actuality in my life.

this is why i should do this more often.  hahaha.  ok.  back to packing.

observation.

DISCLAIMER: This post does not point towards the general state of mind of the author in what he desires.  It is simply an observation of his everyday surroundings in the motherland.

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there's a really big trend here in korea.  and, as my astute friend pointed out, it just seems to be a holiday fad.

what is it?

being with someone.  guy/girl.  not really even boyfriend/girlfriend.

i mean, it was the holiday season... still kinda is.  as my good friend steve pointed out...

"korean dramas + winter season = makes you wanna gf/bf"

ahahaha.  good math.