Sovereignty

In my coworker's 4 year anniversary with his wife, He remains sovereign.

In my despair, He remains sovereign.

In my friend's engagement, He remains sovereign.

In my coworker's sister's brain tumor, He remains sovereign.

God, be my everything.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, on heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:15-17

Help?

Looking for some help with the design on the blog... realized that all the brown really isn't that appealing... haha.  Thanks!

3, 2, 1 + 1

Passage here. 3 crosses.  2 thieves.  1 Savior + 1 redeemed thief.

I love the story of calvary.  He ministers to the 1 thief who sees his depravity by looking up at the savior, believes Him by faith, is saved, and then dies.  My Savior dies as well, but as any Christian can tell and should tell you, that's the only way we live.

Anytime my overanalytical mind begins to wander into thinking about the mechanics of salvation, the Calvinism/Arminian argument, and all of the lovely added bonuses that such thoughts conjure up, I look back to this and see the beauty of the mystery of salvation.  Mysterious only in how it works, but not in its life changing impact.

As I write this, I have spotted the perfect tweet from Justin Holcomb.

"Christianity depends, not upon a complex of ideas, but upon the narration of an event." -J.G. Machen

What an event.  What a Savior.

I needed this today.

WB!

It's been over two years since I said I was back from my blogging hiatus.  I have such a fickle mind for this.

Hopefully, as I restart this whole bit, I'll be reminded that this blog is primarily to remind myself of what God has been teaching and showing me.  As I share with you, the audience, I welcome any and all feedback to everything I post.  However, I hope that initial primary reason will be how this blog is maintained and sustained.

Can you welcome yourself back?  Guess you can.

broken down.

i'm back from blogging hiatus. intentional or not (i'm not sure why i stopped), these past few weeks have been some of the most interestingly uninteresting weeks of my life. here's why:

I started work a few weeks ago. Part-time, decent pay, small company, unknown industry. As a salesman, I'm pretty much the bane of every company out there. I ask them if they want to buy stuff from us. And, given the current state of the economy, it's not just annoying for them to hear me out; it's completely absurd. I've been hung up on more times than I can count. My fingers are sore from dialing so many numbers (actually, more from bowling). And I can't seem to figure out exactly what my boss wants me to do.

That's uninteresting. I know. I'm rereading the lines above and realized I tried to use every literary device I know (3?) to get you to become interested.

Here's why this seemingly uninteresting past couple of weeks have been interesting.

Ever since our new pastor came to our church, I've struggled to come to grips with his message. A message of complete submission and surrender to Jesus Christ. Initially, I brushed it off as "typical Master's Seminary preaching." But realistically, it became apparent why I was so quick to brush it off.

The gospel is a hard pill to swallow, even for regenerate believers. It reminds us that we are unable to manufacture "goodness" (goodness is quoted because, in today's postmodern world, it's relativized). The only good is Christ who lives in us. Every part of our flesh yearns for wicked, carnal cravings, even when saved. The difference when saved is that we, by the power of the Holy Spirit, are given the opportunity to turn from wickedness to Godliness. And in many ways, I began to see that blogging was somewhat of an extension of my attempt to manufacture Godliness instead of humbly submitting to Christ as the only good that God accepts.

This has played out in many ways. And I'm not particularly in the mood to go through them. But I will share this much. Christ wants all of me. Every bone in my body, every thought in my head, every desire in my heart. He wants me to make all of these his.

Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to Jesus Christ, our Lord.

500 Days of WINTER?! (Part 2)

It has been a few months since I posted the most "controversial" entry that I've had on this blog. Since that time, I have had many people give feedback on the idea of love, including a sermon that I received from my roommate that also highlights some of the points I made in my original blog post. I've learned much from all the different perspectives that I've heard, and I am thankful to every single person that has contributed to my learning. Additionally, I've been fortunate enough to learn firsthand about this idea of love and how it applies to a Christian such as myself.

Before I move in to my post, a couple of disclaimers:

1. All of my ideas stem strictly from sources who I respect and admire deeply such as John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and others. I trust their words because their words are based off the only authoritative truth in the world, the Bible.

2. I am still open to hear the thoughts and perspectives of others. Please note, however, that I expect an equal level of listening and learning to take place from each other (not that anyone has been angry or frustrated at/with me just yet... but as I am openly placing my ideas on the internet, it is easy to criticize without having a single regard for how I would respond.)

3. I'm still learning. And I am nowhere near perfect.

Alright, onto what I've learned.

The questions I posted in my first post were legitimate questions that I was asking myself. In many ways, as I thought of those questions, I developed my own answers. But these answers were not backed up with my own experience with love. Now that I've become more and more aware of these things, I will clearly state this.

It is impossible for someone to love based solely off of their own feelings.

If the greatest love is what Christ says it to be (John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friend), it is completely impossible for me to have an unselfish view of love without first realizing who Christ is and why He performed the greatest act of love for all who would believe.

I consider myself highly fortunate and blessed to have heard of this act. Of how God cared so much for his own glory that he would send his son to die on our behalf so that his glory would not be violated (he had spoken countlessly of how he would redeem mankind back to him... if he hadn't fulfilled such promises, he would cease to be God).

If that truth, the gospel truth of how Christ would die for me so that I would be reconciled back to God does not only infiltrate, but completely revolutionize what I consider love to be, I have not understood it at all.

Maybe it is possible to lay down a life for a friend. But God laid down his life for his bitter enemies, namely, us.

This same love is given to us to live out. And I know that it cannot be done unless I continue to know and follow hard after God. To have one pure and holy passion.

Granted, I will never fully comprehend the love of God. But I will fight for it. To love because I have been loved first.

Otherwise, I would love for my own selfish gain.

I broke up the last few paragraphs because I think they are each their own point. Sorry for the long post. I'll try and keep my thoughts more condensed by writing more often.

former identity.

Luke 15. Everyone knows this parable. Commonly referred to as the parable of the prodigal son. However, recent readings of this parable along with the works of Tim Keller and John MacArthur have made me realize that the story is a parable of two sons. One, a blatantly obvious sinner. The other, a subtly subversive sinner.

v. 25-32:

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might e celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, f who has devouredg your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’31 And he said to him, ‘Son, h you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting e to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother i was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

This was me. I used to be like this. I used to hold God hostage with my "obedience" and legalistic mindset, thinking that I deserved so much for doing such things. And when I would see God's blessings of love and grace and mercy being poured out upon those "other" sinners, I would be so jealous, so spiteful, so... ugh.

The irony is, I was in a much worse position than the other. And, eventually, this mindset drove me to rebellion. To hate and not want to obey. But in that position, I found a loving father, a grand feast, and a joy beyond no other. How does that happen?

Only by the grace of God, who rebukes, disciplines, and save those He loves.

χάρις.

That's different huh? The title, I mean. In Greek, it is pronounced Charis. In English, it is grace. I kind of want to get it tattooed. Or maybe Kyrios and Doulos, one on each arm. That would be pretty cool too.

Anyway, the purpose of the title... (if you're a frequent reader, this title may not be as specific as you are used to)

I just recently read The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges. It's a fantastic read as it looks to the Gospel as a justifying, sanctifying, and glorifying process that is at work in us constantly. Fortunately, I have begun to understand this Gospel in a much deeper light, especially over this summer, and really in the past few days.

Actually... instead of writing all this out and vomiting my unorganized thoughts onto the world wide web... I'll leave you with this.

χάρις makes me a δοῦλος to the one true κύριος.

RIP Paul "Furnie" Kim

the realization of truth.

Here's what I'm realizing.

Generally, our struggles begin with this statement: There can be no one, no thing, no idea better than you.

But, here's the truth: There's no one, no thing, no idea that is better than you.

Spot the difference?

I struggle with this too. Jesus, help me see you as a reality, not a possibility.

A Paradoxically Good Day.

I woke up miserably this morning. Which isn't exactly a rare occurrence. Let me explain:

After spending this weekend at retreat, learning and being convicted by the holiness of God and seeing how much He desires for me to be holy through Christ as well, I was thoroughly convicted of so much sin that I had left creeping around in the dark corners of my mind and heart.

Now, I think I've gotten to a point where I understand that there can be no real change in living free of sin aside from a continual preaching of the Gospel to myself and a continual hope only in Christ.

But, usually, on days like today, my sin is more than I can bear because the first thought on my mind is my prideful sin (notice the emphasis on the I).

Want to know what made today different?

I began to understand what God's desire actually means in application. I am free of such sin by the grace of God shown in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I am holy because He has made me such. But not completely yet.

What does that mean? I can live freely, bound only to God and His love and grace. I can hope, only in the revelation of Jesus Christ.

And today, I was able to experience this firsthand. Man, did it make a difference in my day.

It was a really good day.

500 Days of WINTER?! (SPOILER ALERT!!)

HAHA! not my usual title, I know. Although I do think that Winter would make a pretty girl name.

Anyway, I was randomly thinking about this movie today (ironically as, but not because, the Union Station tram was passing by downtown LA, close to the "bench"). I thought about that line. This is not verbatim but the line that goes something like this: "One day I woke up and knew he was the one. I never felt that with you." And I thought about this for a while. And then I had this really, really obvious question (that I should have had immediately after I watched the movie):

Do people really feel that way about love? Meaning, is it just something that's there? (Question applies to both guys and girls... and if you can, please answer the question in the comments below...)

Because asking that question begets this question..

What happens when that feeling disappears?

By definition, feel-ing is temporary, whether it is a physical sensation or an experience of emotion (I know a long term injury or a traumatic experience makes this definition seem a bit understated, as well as the fact that I don't know how the marriage between Summer and her husband turns out. But, for the sake of argument, I am going to play devil's advocate). Which means, does that feeling that Summer had about her new husband appear in a way similar to Tom's feelings about Summer, in the ways that Tom developed his feelings (granted, they were somewhat superficial and 18 year oldish), or was it just that "I just knew he was the one?"

Because, based off the definition of feeling, it will end. That feeling. That "it" factor. That "I just know."

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have any chemistry between you and your significant other. Or that you should not be looking for any sort of feeling within you.

But what I am essentially asking is, should that feeling be the foundation of a relationship?

Because if it is, I'm never going to be in one. My feelings come and go.

Commitment, on the other hand, is not. Whether legal, or moral, or Christ-centered, there is a standard that must be met. And, personally, I would like to have the one that will last forever (hint: it's not the first two). For that to be a reality... love needs to be more than a feeling. It needs to be a commitment.

legalism.

i am quickly becoming more and more aware of my legalistic tendencies. man, this scares the hell out of me.

oh Lord, save me from myself.

Music is...

I think all music — not Christian music but all music — is worship music because every song is amplifying the value of something....

There's a trail of our time, our affection, our allegiance, our devotion, our money. That trail leads to a throne and whatever's on that throne is what we worship. And we're all doing a great job of it because God has created us to be worshippers. The problem is that a lot of us have really bad gods.

- Louie Giglio, Founder of Passion

Found in "When Music is Our Enemy" by David Orland found at boundless.org

A helpful resource.

I found this surfing through the blog world today. It's a website committed to discussing Christian dating, courting, and marriage. I figured that it's something that, at least, is on our generations' minds.

Remember though, marriage is not the end all, be all. It is not a means, nor an end. Rather, it is a gift of God so that we can testify of his grace and love in the intimate relationship we have with another spouse.

Enjoy! =)

Ironic.

When the King of Pop died, over 750,000 fans and friends attended the memorial.

When the King of News died, hundreds of colleagues, family, and friends attended the memorial.

When the King of Kings died (Rev 19:16, Phil. 2:9-11), only a handful of disciples and 2 women attended to His burial (John 19:38-42, John 15:46-47).

Whom do we worship?

stsm 2k9.

they were like my younger brothers and sisters. i miss them already.

i trust You God. only You.

MEANINGFUL.

I realized this, by the way.

Every single one of Jesus' words were incredibly meaningful. And every single one of God's words have incredible meaning.

Meaning, the Bible, being the inerrant, fulfilled, promises of God, is continually a place to find God's meaning for me.

How often have I read the Bible and thought, this does not mean much. Wow. I am such a being with a small understanding of meaning.

But God is good.

God is good. ALL THE TIME.

And we all know the response. All the time... GOD IS GOOD!

then why in the hell do I keep thinking that God's goodness is what I consider to be good?

Sorry about the exclamatory question (only emphasized by the "hell" in that question). But I've been asking myself this question a ton this summer. My definition of good had been this: Do something productive this summer. Meaning you have to be a part of some program or some initiative or someTHING.

Instead, God decided to keep me from going on missions, from getting an internship, from finding a job. And yea, I am staying in school for one more semester. So at least that helps.

But my definition of God being good was giving me an opportunity to do something productive this summer.

How I've been rebuked and blind in seeing what God has done.

I've realized that the Gospel is never, ever fully known. Because every day, every moment, there needs to be a serious consideration of the cross in my continual sinful flesh. And in these moments, God shows me that there is a continual need to continually focus on the fundamentals of faith.

And doing something productive, in knowing God's goodness, is exactly that. Rely on Him and Him alone for all the good things. Because truly, all the time, God is good.

culturally counterproductive to the Gospel.

I had an interesting conversation today with my roommate.  It came up, innocently, as a question to him regarding the stereotyping that koreans receive (he's chinese).  The conversation went somewhere along the lines of this:

Me: So are Koreans really notorious for not treating their girlfriends/wives well?

RM: Yea.  I have a Korean friend who is a girl whose dad basically said he would be ok with her dating a Korean guy or a Chinese guy.

Me: Really?

RM: Yea.  The Korean guy, well obviously because he's Korean.  But the Chinese one, well he basically said Chinese guys treat their women better.

Me: Lol.

And it got me asking him about the difference in cultures between Chinese and Koreans, especially in the Christian context.

By the way, I don't mean this post to target only Koreans or Chinese.  This can happen at any church, anywhere, within any culture.

So, we ended up talking about how the Gospel can be contorted and twisted within cultures and how the true message of Jesus Christ is no longer what is being communicated.

Where do I see this happening?  I think, as a Korean American, and a long time Korean church attendee, that in many ways, the Gospel becomes a way for us to fuel our long time Korean culture identity in a way that is "morally" right, not Gospel-like right.

And ultimately, this leads to the idolatry of certain "moralities" or "values" rather than making Jesus Christ the center and focus of a church.  Not to say that every single person who is in the Korean church is one, but the Pharisees were just as content on making God's law somewhat more important than God Himself because they viewed God as a distant, transcendent being who did not meddle in the petty affairs of human beings every day, even though His prophets would proclaim God who cared deeply about us and wanted to know us intimately.

Jesus came and shattered it all, making his dwelling among us so that we might know the true righteousness of God.  But the temptation still remains.  The temptation to feel that we may be more superior than others because we are more "spiritual" or "moral" or "*insert any other value here*" rather than seeing the worth of every man, woman, and child through the love shown on the cross.  And because of this, the Gospel becomes counterproductive to what its very intent was.

Sadly, I am very guilty of this myself.  Who am I to consider my worth higher than another human's based off of my own works and thoughts when God sent His Son to save all those who would believe?  How many people have I kept from belief because of my lack of grace and love?  Man, that is incredibly sobering.