what's happened in the past 6 months.

so i promised something about humility in my last post.  but i realized that the subject, for me, is a much more extensive one because it's not just something that's been popping up very recently.  it's been something that's been at work since about April... the end of April.  so i will try and make this as easy and succinct for you without taking anything away from what i've been learning by God's grace.  and let me preface it with a sermon that i recently listened to from john piper (the man).  thanks again larry for the message.

oh, and i'm probably going to have to split this up into at least two parts... it's kind of long.

so, back to the man, JP.

here it is.

"the humblest thing you can do is to be carefree, in God"

alright... think about it.  and if you want to listen to it, here's the link.

here we go.

back in april, as i was preparing to go out on missions to ghana, one of the most shocking moments in my life occurred right outside my apartment complex.  as i was walking back from class that day (i decided not to take the tram because it would take too long), i was mugged by two guys.  they took my sister's ipod that i was borrowing (which ironically enough was tuned into a message about the sovereignty of joy), my wallet, and my cell phone.  the consequences of that instance are still bothering me to this day (note: wamu's claim services are absolutely horrible, but i guess it doesn't really matter now that they're bankrupt).

the first words out of my mouth to God were not why now or why me.  they weren't angry statements.  they were something along these lines.  "dang, i think i deserved that, but i'm not exactly sure why.  i just know that there's something to learn."  as humble as these statements may have seemed, they weren't.  they were an obvious pointer to the state of my heart, in thinking that i already knew what God was trying to do and in knowing that i somehow, obviously deserved it because he allowed it to happen.  but i didn't deserve this.  i didn't deserve to have my eyes opened in the ways they have been now because i was so arrogant in thinking that i needed to care about what was going to happen next.

confused yet?  hahaha.  ok basically, my immediate thoughts afterwards pointed towards an anxiousness.  an anxiousness in what God was going to do because i knew that this wasn't the end.  i knew that this happened before i left on missions for a pretty dang good reason.  and i was anxious.  anxious about something.  that i didn't even know was going to happen.

ok, keep this verse in mind.  "humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 peter 5:6-7

ugh, this is already getting too long.  ok, part 2 coming later.